Let me set the scene - Six and a half years ago we were joined by our first foster child, a little child who had a big history. The following year their younger sibling joined us.
 
Now because our children had a complex past it took a very long time for them to be able to trust us. 

We had lots of family holidays, but only managed to have a couple of weekends away where my hubby and I could take some much needed time for us. 
 
So can you imagine our delight when our eldest now a teenager came home from school saying they was one of the privileged few to be offered a place on an overseas school trip!

Our hearts skipped with joy, we felt that their younger sibling could possibly be cared for at home by a family member which would give us a chance to go away!!!

So, after much discussion we set about trying to make this happen. 
◦ Our children needed a huge amount of preparation and reassurance. 
◦ We needed to plan meticulously when, where and how. 
◦ Each of our children had different needs so making sure they had the very best support was essential.

Oops I forgot to mention we also have my elderly father living close by. Hubbies’ parents down the road still independent but aging. Mum in a nursing home, a cat, guinea pig and horse!  So, lots to think about.
 
As the event grew closer our children started to ‘wobble’. Lots of anxiety, tears, anger, doubt. All ways which our children communicate. This was tough for them, being away from us, trusting others and lots of other reasons. We used our contacts in their respective schools to help support the children during this time.
 
One week before and our dream was in sight … we could smell the sangria waiting for us. We aren’t massive drinkers, but fostering is a full-time job and can be tough! We really needed this.
 
Suddenly everything became really hard … 
Dad had pain and had to go to hospital. My hubbies’ dad then became ill, he too had to go to hospital. I needed to see my mum before we went away so had to try and fit everything else around it. Our social worker became ill, the children’s social worker also became ill.

We still hadn’t received a letter from the local authority stating we could let our eldest leave the country. Our youngest’s taxi driver became ill, so we had to take over their school runs which were four hours out of our day. Our horse developed a sore back and needed the chiropractor. 
 
Amazingly two days before we were supposed to fly off. Both dads were discharged, and the horse was given the all clear.

Our amazing manager from Starz Fostering had stepped in - made sure we had the letter and stepped in to cover for our social worker.
 
It was starting to look like we would make it… Then we got a phone call. Our youngsters taxi driver would be off work for at least six weeks. Who was going to get them to school while we were away?

Starz pulled together as a team and made arrangements to cover each day ❤️. Our youngster was happy as they know each of them and feels safe with them. They even got to cuddle Roxy a little dog on the way to school. Even the Directors helped out!
 
We made it! Flew off to the sunshine ☀️ … forgot to pack my hubbies’ shirts that he left on the bed. Slept nearly the whole day when we arrived and got a tad ‘burnt’ but we were ‘chilling in the sun'. Halfway through our holiday we get a phone call - our eldest had an accident. At this point hubby was driving and I was an emotional mess. What do I do? I phoned the Starz manager who calmly took control of the situation. She told us exactly what to do and communicated with the team.
 
We enjoyed the rest of our break, albeit five days but it was so worth it. This is why we are with Starz fostering. When we need them, they are there, like ‘nanny Mcfee’  Then when you are safe and sorted they slip back into the background. 
 
WE ALL MADE IT!  Thank you to the team around us and the children❤️ 

We decided to foster around seven years ago. Our boys were all grown and settled, we had done a little travelling and decided we wanted to give a child a chance of experiencing a loving, safe, home. But would we be enough? 

We started our journey with a much larger agency before moving onto Starz. At the point of transfer, we already had two children (siblings) living with us, the transfer was seamless for them, which was very reassuring.

We have a very busy and varied life with our children. They are with us 'long term' and we have completely fallen in love with them. 

We celebrate every tiny ' win' and support them when things are not going great. Starz provides much needed support, at times when things are good and when things are difficult. They help us to see beyond the behaviour, to acknowledge that the children are trying to communicate and help us to look at strategies to deal with the issues, which normally results in the behaviour disappearing.

There have been times when it’s been very tough emotionally and they have offered to pop round and baby sit, take the children to school, even bring round a takeaway. When my mum was taken to hospital and things were hard to 'juggle' at home, they stepped in to offer practical help for which we will forever be grateful for. I don't know of any other agency that would do that and it’s those types of offers, that make a difference to you as a foster carer. It allows you to take a breath and move on. It makes us feel 'seen', that we matter and that we are valued.

They too celebrate our 'wins’ and our children's. Being a child centered agency and non-profit, they offer some wonderful days out ... the zoo, panto, illuminate, tubing etc. Always activities that we can all enjoy with our children. 

Our opinion and happiness matters enormously to Starz, there is of course a hierarchy, but all are within reach and approachable, it feels like a family.

Fostering is certainly keeping us young, our children expect us to ' keep up' with the latest fashion, tech and the forever evolving language they are using.

We are learning so much doing this job, we have always loved children and had a natural gift with them. The training and the supervisions with the psychologist we receive, enables us to grow not only our knowledge but we are growing as individuals and becoming better people. We both see the world very differently since fostering. It’s enriched our lives in ways we never could have imagined.

When we first met our children all we could see in their eyes was fear, sadness and uncertainty.

When we look into their eyes today, we see, love, trust and happiness.

What is fostering... a word, a phrase, a perceived impression of troublesome kids but none of our country's most vulnerable children are just any of those.

They are children that need love, nurture, understanding and support. They have been in situations most adults have never experienced or seen and certainly nothing we would ever want our own children to experience.

BUT we can make a change, we can help them trust and believe they are lovable, worthy and able to reach their full potential with love and guidance.

The behaviours are not personal, it's never personal it's learnt in the hardest of ways. But we can make a change, we can nurture and make them believe they are worthy, they are loved and capable of great things. They will repay you with pride that's absolutely indescribable and probably the best achievement of your life.